Hello, Old Friend…

It’s me again. Long time, no write.

It’s been…awhile. I had forgotten what you even looked like to be honest.

Well, as you can see, I still look the same.

10968334_10153324497236754_3484031295877036765_n Two of my oldest and dearest friends have called me out on my writing…or lack thereof. (I like to call it Chronic Writer’s Block, and I’m still working on experimental treatments.) It’s funny how we all have those friends. The ones that have known you so long that even if years pass without saying a word, you can pick up right where you left off without missing a beat. These friends also have the tendency to accurately call you out on your BS.

So, here I am trying to fit a blog post into my crazy life at two o’clock in the morning. Never mind that I have to be up in five hours, still have to get ready for bed, and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon. Those are just the minor details that I like to call life. I started another blog, and abandoned it. (Big surprise, right?) I have so many things I want to do that often times so much gets overlooked, and the truth is that, sadly, my writing has been pushed to the back burner. Once upon a time, when I felt that I had no voice, I realized that on paper I could let myself finally be heard. I once even won a trip to Washington, D.C., all expenses paid, for a week just because of an essay I wrote at lunch and printed out as the bell was ringing. It used to come so easily. Now, I sit for hours staring at the cursor while it mocks me with its pulsating blink. Write it down on paper, you might say…oh, the paper wad mountain in the recycling bin is just as frustrating. Other times, I can manage to close myself off, get it all down, then I go back to the habit I have had since livejournal and myspace blogs…I highlight and delete, convinced that my voice doesn’t deserve to be heard.

I mean, look at all the blogs out there. Everyone and their mother has a blog. Some people have blogs with their mothers. I am hardly the first person to have an Autistic child, and I am certainly not the first wife and stay-at-home mom. I am not a trailblazer, because I moved from the Ozark Mountains to London. There is no novelty for most people in travel in a world of been there, done that, and I’m still a novice at it anyway. Sure, I bake gluten-free goodies that rock pretty hard. I bake a lot of things that are awesome, but what did I make that I didn’t already get from another blog or one of my many cookbooks? I can craft my little heart out, but when I’m covered in paint, mod podge, or just burned my finger with hot glue, I’m not exactly dying to take pictures every step of the way, and write a how-to manual. To those crafty blogs that I often read, y’all deserve gold stars.

With all the voices out there struggling to be heard, I’m pretty sure mind would get lost in the wind, or at least somewhere along the information highway. I always think to myself, ¨Is this original? Has it been done before? Done to death? Do I sound like an idiot?¨

I think now, it’s probably the sleep deprivation talking, and I promise not to delete this in the morning, but I think that it doesn’t matter if I’m not the first. I don’t have to be a trailblazer, and no matter how quiet my voice is, that maybe there are a few people willing to hear it. My life isn’t a Hollywood movie. It’s not even a made-for-TV or straight-to-DVD movie. It’s just life. It’s messy and complicated. It’s loud and most of the time, utterly exhausting, but it’s mine. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Would I change things about myself? Sure. Loads, probably. Not my life, though. I love where I am and those that I get to spend my days with.

Maybe,

Occasionally

Possibly… it might even be semi interesting enough to write about. I’m sure I can find a few things in the last few years to ramble on about, because currently the best I got is that it’s the kids’ last day of school tomorrow, and I’m having a crown. The one that involves a root canal, not the fun party or royal kind. I feel like I’d rather be chased by a serial killer clown than write about that, and I don’t want to imagine how painful it would be to read. Now, I should probably get to bed.

Tomorrow’s a brand new day.

Procrastination and Love,

L.

xoxo

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Silly Blogs With Leigh-Leigh

I hope that reminds someone of Veggie Tales.

I know I have a Water Buffalo.

Right. So, this blog is dedicated to my seven year old daughter, Heaven Leigh, and I have called her Leigh Leigh for as long as I can remember. Heaven, she insists, is very much like her father. A little devious. “Mad Evil Genius,” he would say.

Her first devious after school act was committed curled up on a chair with a library journal with an evil little giggle. Anytime I came near her, she hid the notebook, and her end result… You know, when I saw it, I thought, it’s like a mini Adnan Osmani came up with that.

When I saw it, she laughed and laughed, but then again, so did I, laughed so hard I could hardly breathe.

Suddenly, she stops laughing and says, “Mama,  you have to put this online, so you can get a million hits. You will be famous. Even more than Daddy!” I chuckle at her. Me? Famous. I don’t think so. My husband has two books and more than twenty thousand twitter followers. Me? I bounce between fifty eight and sixty two. She’s an optimist for sure. Over thirty thousand stalkers on his blog and I barely have a few hundred.  Enough about who is more awesome than who (it’s me, clearly). I’m actually very proud of my husband, and who do you think pushes him all the time? Well, I wouldn’t say a push, sometimes all someone needs to succeed is a nudge- someone to believe in them when they don’t believe in themselves.

I wouldn’t even be writing a blog right now if Leigh Leigh didn’t ask me to. I’ve got to pack two children to move to London in what feels like virtually no time at all! To say I’ve been frazzled is an understatement. I can barely write my own name, let alone a blog, but I’m taking time out between laundry and other late night clean up activities to introduce to you, my seven year old, Heaven Leigh Osmani, the devious, yet adorable, Mad Evil Genius.

My Family By Heaven Osmani

The part that made me laugh was her depiction of her father. Spitting image. For that I’ll get a face-palm, I’m sure.

There you have it, Leigh Leigh’s million hit Silly Blog. I love my kids so freakin’ much! I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

She really did put a lot of effort into it and used me as a spell check for some words (she, however, prides herself on knowing the difference between but and butt), colored her art work, and wrote an endearing little message. She deserves her own blog.  Someday when she’s older.

Love and Growing Pains,

L & LL

xoxo


wtfbbqlolz

So, I haven’t posted a blog in what seems like months.

I must apologize. I was lost in the wilderness for 13 months, being chased by radioactive bobcats.

I shall call him Simba

Yeah…that excuse didn’t work so well for Hunter S. Thompson either, but it made it into the forward to Screwjack.

I thought, what better way to start off a new blog, (or one that has been gutted and purged)  than with Stupid Pet Tricks. Or is it Stupid Human Tricks?

Because I’ll tell you, when I saw this video I thought to myself, I bet this guy is really lonely…He’s got an unnatural relationship with that pooch…why couldn’t he have taught her to do the Hokey Pokey, why such a “handsy” dance?

That poor dog…

She’s dressed like such a slut.

It’s already bad enough she’s a bitch…

Yeah, that last one was pretty cheesy, even for me.

Anyway…what is this blog about? I don’t know, you tell me. It’s about being away from Myspace.  About not censoring myself. About sticking it to the man! YEAH! It’s about…

…about dancing dogs?

Um…right.

Why not?!

I never get any comments anyway, so what does it matter?

I ask you, outerspace, what should this “new” (demolished and revamped) blog really be about?

Other than talking to myself and “thinking outloud”. Yeah…right. Notice the quotes? Like I would ever “think”…okay, now I’m air quoting myself, and I should really just be saying bye…

PEACE PUNKS!

xoxo

L