Thank You, Simon Cowell

My blergh usually hits an average of ten million hits per post. So, imagine my surprise when I saw that my American Idol post had hit over two hundred and fifty million hits on Monday. Oddly enough, as surprised as I might have been, I wasn’t really shocked. My last post from a few years ago (which has long since been deleted when I cleaned house), was very popular. It was even featured on some Russian website.

So, thank you, Simon Cowell (and Ryan Seacrest) for making my blergh a more popular pitstop.

Is this post about American Idol? Survey says…

No.

Not really.

Just big ups to the show that gives me hope that I might not be the most crap writer in the world. In high school, I won nearly every award for writing that was offered. I even ended up winning a week’s paid trip to DC my junior year. After school, instead of going to college, I majored in motherhood. I don’t say that as being my downfall, but it’s hard to write short stories between diaper changings and PTA meetings.

To make up for it, I decided to start writing my blergh. Whether anyone reads it or not. It’s a way for me to get random thoughts out of my head and be semi creative between teaching 2+2 and how to tie your shoes.

So, I thank American Idol for bringing a bit of traffic to the ghost town that is my blergh.

Yes, I’m an Idol fan, but I also watch X Factor. Those who can’t do…watch reality tv?

Now, what was I really saying?

Oh, yes. Blondes. I used to be a redhead, but naturally (as I am now), I’m a blonde. Do they have more fun? Things are funnier when you’re blonde, so I suppose so. Are we ditzy? Without a doubt, but blonde is an attitude, not a hair color.

My perfect blonde trifecta:

Marilyn. Britney. Paris.

I count them even if their roots are dark.

Even if one of them shaved their head and went totally Looney Tunes.

I’m talking about the infamous Britney Spears. I’ve been listening to her since her abusive catholic school girl days.

What I loved about her music is that it was pure and some of her songs were even personal. Today? I’m sad, because all her new stuff that I hear is so auto-tuned that I have to pause and really listen…is that Britney? I don’t know, because she sounds like a robot! Now, Ke(dollarsign)ha has made a fortune of being queen of the auto-tune. Britney, on the other hand, I remember, From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart. I don’t care how much hair or sanity the girl has lost, she’s still got her voice…so use it.

Jeebus!

Not that I want to ban all auto-tuning and all that crap they like to do to mess with your voice. I rock out in the car to If You Seek Amy and Piece Of Me.

But where did the soul go?

Sound machines have no soul.

I don’t know. I read that on this wooden box this guy was playing like a drum at a Violent Femmes concert. Seemed appropriate.

So, enjoy this classic that I’ve had in my head all day.

 

Now, that’s the Brit Brit that I love and adore.

And if you don’t?

Suck it.

QOTN: If you could be not just famous but infamous for one thing, what would it be?

I’d be the World’s Greatest Mom

For reals.

Oops! I Did It Again,

L

xoxo

 

 


Coffee Break

Caffeine Crack

 

Honestly? It’s only my second cup, and although it might be an overshare, I had to say this is the worst thing I’ve ever drank, and I once had a shot called Sex With An Alligator.

It’s rough.

We’re almost out of sugar, and I used these alternative sweetener packets called sun crystals. This is the first time I’ve used it in coffee. I’m mostly a sweet tea girl, really. Intense doesn’t do it justice. It tastes like someone put arsenic in my cup of joe. Ugh. I’d rather have a New Jersey Turnpike. Shudders.

Java and Junk,

L

xoxo


American Idols Lost and Found

Two of my favorite Idols were Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens. (Not to mention Anoop Desai, but that’s a different crazed fan post)

Occasionally I like to stalk them on youtube and see what they’re up to. I subscribe to Andrew Garcia, and if you love covers like I do, you should check him out. If you’re not in the mood for music, and you’re more in the mood for funny, then I say you must watch Shane Dawson or the epitome of nerdom The Guild. These two channels are an acquired tastes. Like sardines or brussels sprouts. I think both are delicious, but together? I don’t know…that could be AWESOMESAUCE!

Or not.

I’ll get back to you on that one.

At any rate, when people leave American Idol you have to wonder what they’re up to, where did they go? Ect, ect. I mean, if they leave Big Brother obviously they’re going to have their own drug ring and if they’ve just been voted off the island, then they become a Survivor in the real world by not paying their taxes.

If you live in the Midwest and were voted off American Idol, then you end up in a Branson show or at a singing diner.

However, if they are persistent, sometimes these ex-Idols make it, even if it’s only on youtube.

Without further ado,

Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens covering Skyscraper.

Awh.

That was super spesh.

So, QOTN, which I most often ask myself, since the rest of the world is silent…

What reality show do you think you could survive?

I’d love to be on Big Brother. It’s the one thing that I could do. Mostly because I hate camping, I can’t sing or dance very well, and I can’t cook, and although racing around the world would be fun, the first time I had to eat something gross or jump out of a plane, I’d be outtie.

Love and Brussels Sprouts,

L

xoxo

 


It’s The End of the (Social Networking) World As We Know It…

And I feel fine!

Seriously…what would people do without facebook? It’s now the new myspace.

My____ …whaaa?

A group of “Anonymous” people have gone all Bald Knobbers on their asses for selling our information to random governments all around the world. Really? Okay…

So, I can’t delete my facebook. They own me. I cannot hide.

This sounds like something my best friend, Ace would put together.

I’ll let you listen to it and tell me what you think about it?

Doesn’t that remind you of some of the Lost propaganda they had on in its earlier seasons?

I’m interested to see what will happen.

So, on a completely different topic…

What’s your favorite candy bar? I’m a Bart Simpson. Butterfinger, baby.

I know. That was random.

But where can you go after facebook conspiracy theories? It’s either 2012 predictions or candy. I went with my sweet tooth.

Love, Poprocks, and Coke…

xoxo

L